Grief Counseling

"Go into your grief, for there your soul will grow." - Carl Jung

Everyone experiences grief. Sooner or later each of us will experience the death of someone we care about and mourn the deep pain that goes with it. Grief is a universal experience.

It is a normal process, not a psychiatric disorder. Everyone moves through grief at their own pace and in their own way. It's a lifelong process.

Grief begins with a loss. Although death is the most obvious trigger, divorce or marital separation, relocation, news of a fatal illness, loss of physical or mental ability due to accident or disease, loss of a pet, infertility and even unemployment are all common sources of grief.

Grief affects us both emotionally and physically. It can be expressed emotionally through:

• Denial - in the early days after a loss, you may find it hard to believe that the person or thing is really gone.
• Anger — you may be mad at the person or the thing you lost for abandoning you and "letting you down."
• Guilt — some people experience rational regrets such as "I should have spent more time with him/her" while others struggle with irrational thoughts such as believing that the person died because you left them alone.
• Despair — a deep depressing feeling may set in once you truly acknowledge the loss. You may feel intensely sad, cry often, and eat or sleep either too little or too much.

Other emotional reactions to loss can include apathy (emotional numbness), mental confusion, inability to make decisions, forgetfulness, and fearfulness. Panic disorders are also not uncommon during a grief reaction.

Some physical reactions to grief can include: sleep disturbances, appetite changes, lack of energy, or difficulty breathing. Grief also appears to weaken the immune and cardiovascular systems, increasing vulnerability to illnesses or infections.

Grieving is a very individual process. Men, women and children don't grieve the same way and there is no "right" way to grieve.

Counseling can be very helpful when grief seems overwhelming. In therapy you can learn to acknowledge your loss, experience the grief and gently start feeling the pain; to adjust to a way of life without the person or thing you lost.; and to re-enter life to become involved with others again. Therapy can also help reduce feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, by guiding you in the decisions-making process about such things like how to express your grief, what to do with belongings of the deceased or how to handle significant dates, holidays and familiar places.

Unresolved grief occurs when we don't have a safe, supportive environment in which to mourn. Our feelings go unattended — for months, years or even decades and can resurface later with greater intensity if not fully experiences and understood. We may have difficulty pinpointing our:

• Irritability or anger
• mood changes
• loneliness or withdrawal
• disturbances in sleep, appetite or energy
• difficulty maintaining relationships
• use or abuse of substances

Kids and Loss. Children are exposed to loss, too, such as giving up parents, friends or pets to death, relocation or divorce. To help them cope with loss and grief:

Do:

• Answer their questions — tailoring your response to the child's age and maturity.
• Let them talk about the loss — don't push them but be available if they need you. Validate their feelings.
• Expect some behavior changes — fear, anger, guilt or confusion may cause children to act differently.

Don't:

• Explain death as a trip or sleep — kids may end up fearing future vacations or bedtime.
• Be afraid to show or share your grief — this can reassure your children that their own sad feelings are O.K.
• Take away belongs of the lost person/pet — these concrete objects help children hold on to precious memories.

Especially important and valuable is to seek professional support from an experienced grief counselor with specialized knowledge in Complicated grief, that can carry additional challenges, such as:

• death by suicide
• a child's death
• a sudden, tragic death
• multiple deaths

As an experienced, compassionate and knowledgeable grief counselor in Beverly Hills, it would be my privilege to be your supportive guide through this most difficult journey. I can carry the hopefulness for you, until you feel it for yourself, that you will move through this painful time, and, once again, feel joy and pleasure in your life.

Please call me to start your healing process by telling me about your loss and together we will determine the grief support that would be best for you and/or your family.  Remember, You're Not Alone.

You can leave me a secure and confidential voice message, and I will return your call as soon as possible. Please indicate some good times for me to reach you.

You may contact me at: (310) 289-4643